The widowed sister treats the twins like maids and punching bags.

Dear Abby: When my husband passed away two months ago, my identical twins helped me move in with him. He never married. I do all the work — emptying six litter boxes, loading and unloading the dishwasher, etc. I don’t know how to operate her washer/dryer, as she has only shown me once. He doesn’t like using my phone, organizing files, anything. She drinks heavily, uses marijuana and is on a starvation diet. If I eat any carbs at dinner, she accuses me of being “playful.”

At first, she was glad I was here, because on a previous visit she said I was her drinking buddy. I usually don’t care much about food, because I have bad taste. Last night, because I could taste dinner, I ate more. He accused me of being a glutton and a parasite. She has, as far back as I can remember, always been “my way or the highway.”

I’m tempted to go live in my truck to avoid his constant snapping. I have no money yet. He loaned me $4,500, and he thinks any money I get from now on will go directly to him. Please help me.

– The unhappy twins in Michigan

Dear Unhappy: Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. While you’re in shock and in the early stages of grief, it might be a good idea to move in with your sister, unless you want to be her maid for the rest of your days, make other living arrangements. You are being treated like Cinderella.

Pay off the loan in installments when you get a job or settle a property. Maybe your sister has always been the dominant twin, but what you’re dealing with now is abuse, and for the sake of your mental health, you can’t allow it to continue.

Dear Abby: I had a guy as a roommate for a year when he worked in the city. “Rodney” was a wonderful roommate. After his lease was up and he was transferred, he came clean about his feelings for me. Then came the epidemic, and he was absent for two years.

Rodney is now back and wants to live with me part time again. This time he wants more intimacy. He is kind and helpful around the house. He is divorced, very smooth and lives 1,000 miles away. I don’t want to be “friends with benefits”. I don’t know him well enough to want more. But I enjoy his company very much. I’m in my 60s and look young – so why not just have a good time? I still don’t want to get injured. Any advice?

– Roommate Romance in California

Dear Roommate: Having sex with you should not be part of Rodney’s lease agreement. What he’s proposing sounds more like a business deal than an attempt to court you. If you’re looking for a relationship that might lead to “something more,” don’t go without carefully weighing the pros and cons, including the emotional risk involved. If you want to settle for a “good time” you won’t write to me.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby. DearAbby.com.