The Bears are in league with him. . . The Browns?

In sports, as in life, you are often known by your rivalries.

David had Goliath, Ali had Frasier, Godzilla had Kong. (Oh, and Mothra. And Rodin. Even King Ghidorah early on.)

But I hesitate.

In a world where your opponent’s stature determines your own worth, the Bears have it. . . The Browns

This is some low-hanging fruit.

Brown’s majesty is what the chicken dance is to ballet.

How do these teams from different conferences compete?

As it happens in the modern era, the Browns threw down the gauntlet on Twitter. It seems they don’t like that the Bears will be wearing orange helmets for two games this season.

On Sunday, the Browns’ official Twitter site teased: “Oh nice helmet color. Where did you get this idea?” finally threw in with a suspicious face. Twelve other NFL teams have worn different colored helmets at times this season, but the Browns chose to mock the Bears.

More interesting may be why the Browns themselves wear orange helmets and/or uniforms.

Tradition? Well, yes, they’ve been wearing orange since the 1950s. But bears have had orange as a secondary color for nearly a century.

Then, isn’t brown the color? Yes, it’s mean, dull, rude. Reminds me of one of the nasty things. And the name may come from founder Paul Brown and not the color wheel. No matter: the Browns who claim the orange claim the green like MLB’s Reds.

But there you have it. The content of the bulletin board is written. Crap vs Crap. It continues.

And maybe that’s fair.

The Browns, you see, are a consortium of lost souls searching endlessly for a quarterback. And many other things. For example, they have had 10 general managers and four owners over the past 21 years.

The Browns have never won a Super Bowl. They never have. played in one. They have more sculptures from the first period than the National Archives.

And first-round quarterback duds? Try enough Tim Couch, Brady Quinn, Brandon Weeden, DeShone Kizer and, yes, the oddly included Johnny “Football” Manziel.

In Cleveland, he still speaks fondly of quarterback Milt Plum, who played his last game for the Browns in 1961. And the best quarterback in their history was Otto Graham, who finished his career 67 years ago.

Heartbreakingly, Baker Mayfield — the first overall pick in 2018 and a decent placeholder — is gone, as are his amazing “At Home with Baker Mayfield” commercials for Progressive Insurance. are taken We can only hope that his new team, the Panthers, will give him the keys to Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina, and let him continue his book club and yard sales.

But can bears be happy? no.

What they can do is rattle off a long list of their quarterback failures. We could do a Dave Krieg-Moses Moreno-Craig Krenzel-Mitch Trubisky conga line dud dance, but we won’t. His twists are famous.

It’s bad enough that the Bears have put the weight of the world on the shoulders of second-year quarterback Justin Fields. They’re so lacking in star power at key positions, like offensive line and receiver, that continued mediocrity from poor Fields seems almost guaranteed.

Some early betting lines favored the Bears in just two of their 17 games. The Browns are picked somewhere around .500.

There is enough hostility. Probably reasonable.

Throw in the Browns’ big dice roll for potentially suspended quarterback Deshaun Watson, and you have both franchises desperate for a great quarterback. Even if Watson plays, what will female Browns fans think of a man who recently settled nearly two dozen sexual misconduct lawsuits?

The Browns still painfully remember Brian Sipe’s last-minute interception against the Raiders in the 1981 playoffs that pushed the Raiders to a Super Bowl championship and the Browns back to nothingness.

Fans still remember Jim McMahon for guiding the Bears to their lone Super Bowl crown in January 1986. Living in the past is what you do when the present is weak and your future looks bleak.

No, I guess you could say the Bears deserve to be the Browns’ opponent right now. So load up, fans, for the Bears-Browns preseason game on August 27th at FirstEnergy Stadium in Cleveland.

This is the final preseason game, and both teams will be protecting their starters. So all you scrubs and dudes starting new careers in a week, go out there and win one for Chicago pride.

Win one for the Orange.

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