Dear Harriet: I once had a verbal argument with a man, and my boyfriend did not take action to defend me.
I feel that as my boyfriend, it is his job to defend my honor at all times.
The man did not have sex with me and did not threaten me in any way, but the simple fact that he was shouting at me should have left my boyfriend. I felt like a fool to be there with him while he was just standing there and watching me insult.
Is this the basis of separation?
Dear Bar Fight: Did you talk to your boyfriend about this incident? What did he say was the reason for his silence? I wonder if he thought that by jumping he would ignite an already dangerous situation.
This does not mean that he should have continued this argument without your support. That’s one of the reasons why he decided to stand down.
I don’t know if you should break it, but you need to talk. Ask him how he feels about your relationship, and how he understands his responsibilities. Get her to talk about her values and beliefs. Tell her yours Don’t assume that you believe in the same things. Use this moment clearly to know what you want from him and how frustrated you are that he did not defend you at the bar.
Sometimes women show themselves to be so strong that their partner or others do not think they need help in any situation. The superwoman personality that many women adopt can be confusing for others to feel that there is room for them to jump to safety. Know this
That’s why you both need to talk so that you can come to the same page about expectations.
Dear Harriet: I’m tired of constantly being corrected by my male friend. He knows everything, and sometimes the way he talks to me is misunderstood.
He always apologizes later, but the apology sometimes bothers me even more because it means he knew he was being rude at the time.
What should I say when this happens?
Dear ones all know: When this friend clicks on all his known behavior, stop him immediately. You can cheer him up by saying, “Oh. Here he goes again. Becoming a man who knows everything.”
When he says something unacceptable to you, call him. You can say, “Can you hear for yourself? How would you like it if I talked to you like that? Or” Should I just stop talking and tell you everything because you know it all? ? “
When a crime is committed, say something closely. Looking at what he is doing is a way of noticing his own behavior.
Chances are, he has no indication that he’s rude, rude or misunderstood. Education!
Harriet Cole is a life stylist and founder of Dream Lipers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to as[email protected] or c / o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.