Ms. Manners: This woman’s longstanding grudge against us could ruin prom.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our niece is about to graduate from college. Her parents are dead. Her mother’s best friend raised her for a year when she was 13, and then my niece moved in with us and we raised her.

She invited us to dinner after graduation. My husband and I don’t want to be present because the mother of the woman who raised her when she was 13 is making a scene scolding us because she thinks we should have helped her daughter with the associated expenses.

We want to come the day before prom and invite our niece to a nice dinner and of course attend her prom the next day. (Several hundred people are present, which will minimize the chance of a scene.)