Harriet Cole: I didn’t tell them I was friends with a woman they despise

DEAR HARRIET: I get along well with a woman who has hurt many of my friends in the past.

Harriett Cole

Although this happened several decades ago, my friends made her a common enemy and have not let her go since. I think it’s time for them to move on.

I kept my friendship with this woman a secret to spare my friends’ feelings, but the longer I keep it hidden, the worse it will be when they find out.

How do I tell my friends that I’m now friends with a woman they all despise?

New friend

DEAR NEW FRIEND: Have you talked to your new girlfriend about her past? Why not start from there?

Tell her that you care about her and you will find yourself in a difficult position because of her history with your other close friends. Ask her to tell you her version of what happened between them many years ago. Find out what she remembers and how she thinks about the situation today.

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