Ask Amy: New Girl Worried Boyfriend Is Stupid For Paying ‘Generous’ Child Support

Dear Amy: I started seeing “James” three months ago. I am 35 and he is 40. We both have successful careers, great communication and a thirst for adventure. It’s been a great start, but I’m struggling with some baggage.

James has a four year old daughter whom I adore.

James and his ex “Constance” were together for six years – never married. Constance has always been a housewife, raising three older children whom James considers stepchildren.

Constance left James. He was shocked and confessed to me that she must have been unhappy if she had left the financial security he had provided. The thing is, she still has it!

For the past year, Constance and their daughter have been living in the house he bought for the family, with no strings attached or rent.

Their agreement is that she can stay indefinitely. If she decides to move, he will sell the house and she will get half. He also pays her monthly child support ($500 more than required by law).

When I said how generous he was, James explained that he wanted his daughter to live comfortably, and Constance took good care of the property.

While I admire his heart and support, I can’t help but think that James is too generous. He and Constance don’t talk. Constance cuts ties between him and her other children.

Her eldest child in the process called her a “gold hunter”.

Am I wrong to agree that Constance may be taking advantage of James’ generosity?

Is this division of property typical for unmarried couples?

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