After the big lie, we are expected to attend the wedding.

Dear Miss Etiquette: Maybe you can help me. My niece got married in 2018 and decided not to tell anyone. (When the couple was around family, they left their wedding rings in the car.) They finally came clean in 2021.

Now, we’ve got an invitation to her “wedding,” which is happening this summer. It’s a destination wedding, where everyone invited has to spend the weekend at a hotel about 300 miles away. And it’s a holiday weekend, to boot!

My wife thinks we need to be there, but I disagree. I can’t believe that after three years of lying, I have to go to a party to celebrate this fact. It’s basically a $1,000 weekend to celebrate someone’s four-year anniversary. And they lied to us!

Isn’t it now that we live with our decisions? They chose to marry and keep this information to themselves. Don’t expect me to celebrate that fact four years later. what do you think?

Sharif Qari: That the definition of marriage seems to be disconnected from the act of getting married in general, even apart from establishing a family and having children. Now the term is simply used to refer to a couple’s self-serving fundraising extravaganza.