Dear Mom: I know you are an animal lover, and so I would appreciate your perspective on this.
I’m a veterinarian and always offer my sincere condolences when a client loses a pet — I’ll send a card, make a donation to an animal charity, and often follow up with an email or phone call. will do.
I recently lost my much loved dog and am a bit worried about the reactions of people I have known for many years.
Few have condoned. The general attitude has been that I should “get used to it.”
Mom, the vet never gets used to it. It’s a helpless feeling to be unable to treat your pet, even when you logically know that everything possible has been done.
I’m trying not to have hard feelings on him, but it’s hard.
Dear Grace: I am very sorry. Anyone who has said goodbye to a beloved pet is grieving the loss of a companion and a bond of friendship that is hard to describe, but should be easy to understand. Losing that connection is a special kind of heartbreak.
I’ll quote the late great poet Mary Oliver, whose collection “Dog Songs: Poems” (2015, Penguin) is a tender, touching, and funny tribute to the dogs who have been in our lives. molested:
“Because of the dog’s happiness, our own happiness increases.
This is no small gift.”
You shouldn’t interrupt your grief to educate humans about the loss of animals, and yet – if the people in your world aren’t giving you what you need right now, maybe you are. should tell them.
You might say, “My own experience in animal therapy has not hardened my heart toward the suffering and death of any pet—and certainly not my own dog.
I will never get used to such a loss, and I hope you can understand that. In fact, I could use a little TLC right now.
Dear Mom: I started dating my husband in 2012. We have been married for six years now.
We have both been married in the past and have grown children.
She and her ex were married for 13 years. They have two boys whom I have helped raise. Now they are adults.
My husband’s ex-wife is a wonderful person, she really is. She is very close with my mother-in-law and lives in her own life, which is fine.
My problem is that I have just started meeting the “family” and I don’t know them all yet.
My husband’s ex is always invited whenever there is a family function at his side.
I feel like no one ever knows me because she is still present at all functions.
We have a graduation party and he is invited too.
I personally don’t have a problem with him, but would just like to experience family things with him … family.
Am I too much?
– Now’s wife
Dear Wife: Your husband’s ex has been very close with his family – and this can be a good outcome for families who can manage it. Most can’t.
But think about it this way: If she was a sister-in-law or a close family friend who was at every family gathering, her presence wouldn’t stop you from getting to know everyone any more than someone else’s presence would.
Basically, I’m suggesting that you ignore her status as your husband’s long-ago ex, and focus on being on your best behavior.
Stay cool, stay calm, ask good questions, and let your in-laws see your glow.
You will further strengthen these relationships by hosting your in-laws in small groups at your home (it is not necessary to invite your husband’s ex). Gradually, absent from these large gatherings, you will develop experiences with them individually.
Dear Mom: I read with interest your response to “Greg in Minnesota,” who was concerned about increased pollution caused by people idling in parking lots.
The author mentions knocking on the offender’s window to confront them.
If I were giving it advice, apart from the stats you mentioned, I’d say “don’t”!
You don’t know who you are facing. Are they angry, frustrated, drunk, high on drugs, carrying a firearm? You don’t know how they will react when you encounter them!
Dear Related: Of course! Based on the wording of his letter, I assumed that “Greg” was no longer confronting people in person. I certainly hope so.
Subscribe to our weekly newsletter to get entertainment news delivered straight to your inbox.